Monday, March 31, 2008

Crazy days and thoughts

The the craziest thing happened yesterday!
(okay, maybe not the craziest, but pretty darn crazy)

So I met with a friend of mine last night to study for today's statistics test. She lives in Fort Collins, and there really aren't a lot of "half-way" meeting points, so I just went over there to meet with her. Well, being Fort Collins, there a MANY options for places to meet. We decided on one particular Starbucks location. So I get there, and I go to order a chai, and the person behind the counter looks up to take my order, and it is BETH!

Beth and I met in the first grade in Mrs. Luther's class. We were best friends all through elementary school, went to different middle schools, but were back together again come high school. Girlscouts, most of the same classes, cross-country and track - we were the two crazy girls on the team who actually liked running for fun and would go on long runs together.
So she went off to college in CA while I stayed in WA, but we both end up in Colorado for grad. school, and then *poof* - it is Beth behind the counter at that one particular Starbucks. Small world, isn't it?! SO crazy! we chatted, I met her husband, and now we finally have each other's contact info. But I am still shakin' my head over the whole thing - we picked that Starbucks and met at that time and there was Beth!

Crazy...

And, for your entertainment, a few more random thoughts:

Sometimes it is interesting when people who like grayness and like analyzing things communicate with those who prefer the black-and-white approach. I'm not saying any approach is better or worse - just a simple observations that it can present challenges in communication.

You know what else is challenging? Self-evaluation - like really, deeply evaluating yourself and your perspectives and views and how you view the world and considering your interactions with others. And then deciding what to do with that information.
Except maybe it's not challenging at all - this is, afterall, just my perspective on things.
It's also challenging when you know you are being hypocritical, but that change is slower in coming. Why can't it change immediately, and why shouldn't it? But easier said than done...

It is frustrating as hell to have so little confidence that you look to others to validate your own views and opinions. It is a SELF-perspective...
And is it self-confidence, or is it something else? Value is in there, too. What else?

Dude, and how frustrating IS hell?

What is the meaning of life?

Are we all unique individuals, or do we just like to think so?
How is it that those desires for belonging and for individuality coexist? How do we accommodate for that in our selves and in our lives?

Looking at different types of relationships is fun and interesting - and confusing, but that's part of the fun.

How much of this will I read later and wonder - "why did I say that?" "what did I mean?" or think - "oh, I cannot believe that was my thought process!"
Does it matter? Does it matter what I did think, or only what I do think?

Oh, and note to self: remember the word "Compromise" for later...

Friday, March 28, 2008

Speaking of things that make me feel ill...

Juilie and I were just talking with someone about those things schools and teachers are expected to teach beyond the "academic" content. And while I totally support that schools develop programs for tolerance education, etc. and implement them as early as possible, what about the home life and the community life and all those other spheres of a person's world outside of school?

Granted, in the story below, home life was rather dismal in the cases of both boys, which just makes me sad. But, again, it also raises some larger issues. Yes, the schools are a good place to reach lots of people with these programs all at one time, and is certainly better than nothing - but it is also so easy to take issues such as this and paint it in such a way that the world's problems can be resolved through school programs - they are confined to school and can be fixed in school. Why worry about it at all? Let the schools take care of it!

So I'm being a touch pessimistic - here's excerpts from what influenced that...

---------------------------------------------------------------
Gay California student’s slaying sparks outcry:

OXNARD, Calif. - Larry King was a gay eighth-grader who used to come to school in makeup, high heels and earrings. And when the other boys made fun of him, he would boldly tease them right back by flirting with them.
That may have been what got him killed.
On Feb. 12, another student, Brandon McInerney, 14, shot him twice in the head at the back of the computer lab at their junior high school, police say.
The slaying of the 15-year-old boy has alarmed gay rights activists and led to demands that middle schools do more to educate youngsters about discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.
...
The school system said that it has tolerance programs in its middle schools, but that sexual orientation is often not dealt with until high school. Since the killing, school officials have been meeting with gay leaders about changing the program.
"With young people coming out at younger ages, our schools — especially our junior highs and middle schools — need to be proactive about teaching respect for diversity based on sexual orientation and gender identity," said Carolyn Laub, executive director of the Gay-Straight Alliance Network. "The tragic death of Larry King is a wake-up call for our schools to better protect students from harassment at school."

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

So I lied...here's a rant about stupid insurance coverage

and another post - today is just one of those distracted sort of days, I guess - though I'm being highly productive between times. =0)

So I had a message last night from the billing department at a lab testing facility saying I had a "severely overdue bill" - but I went through all my mail and there was no bill. So I go online and enter the invoice number given on the message, and enter my zip code as is required, and it pops up with an "invalid zip code" notice. So I call customer service today, and they'd been mailing the statements to the wrong zip code - right address otherwise, just a completely incorrect zip code.
Fine, I can deal with that - they've reset the time limit and supposedly changed the zip code, so we'll see.

But that's not the thing. The thing is that this bill is from July, when I went in for my annual woman check-up, but I decided to go to a more noted clinic than the student health center since I had still been getting stabbing pain in my left ovary-area since I came off Tommy & busted my spleen. Just wanted to check in on that one - good move, on my part... or so I thought at the time. BUT, turns out the student health insurance plan doesn't cover "preventative or routine" exams - INCLUDING FEMALE ANNUALS!!!!!

WHAT!?!

Please tell me I am not the only one who thinks this is absolutely ridiculous - I am trying to be responsible and prevent all sorts of fun diseases - including cervical cancer - that doctors everywhere are so adamant about, and the student health care won't cover it??? So now I get to pay over $200.00 in lab screenings. Yay.
It would have been cheaper to come to the school health center - like, waaaaay cheaper ($150.00 cheaper), but I really just wanted to get another opinion about my pain. Is that so wrong? Well, no - but it'll cost ya'. Well, it'll cost ya' either way 'cause the insurance plan doesn't cover any costs related to annuals.

I am actually quite angry, and I don't get angry. It is so F***ing STUPID. I remember getting worked up about this way back in August when my insurance sent me the statement with the "patient responsibility" portion - but then I never got another statement or proper bill, so I though that just maybe they'd changed their minds. But there's my lesson - I should have read the insurance pamphlet more thoroughly and looked into the lack of a bill way sooner 'cause I bet I could have gotten the women's clinic to change the code of my exam from an annual exam to something else falling into a category that is covered. I could probably still argue it even now, but I have other things to be spending time and energy on. But at the same time, how can they get away with this? Especially covering college females? I mean, c'mon - you think they'd be more than happy to cover annuals if it meant prevention of worse things. But nooooo - they don't cover "prevention."

Grrrrr - time to let this one go for now and get to class. But seriously. PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this is a little ridiculous. Validate me! ;0)

One more

So I almost always play music or stream t.v. shows while I'm working - it actually helps me focus 'cause it's a source of noise/activity that know exactly what it is & where it's coming from, and so it occupies that part of my brain that likes to seek out stimulation without distracting the working part too much - sometimes I like quiet - but rarely.

Anywhose, most of the time, I couldn't tell you what song I just listened to or the plotline of the show that was playing while I work. But something just captured my full attention on dancing with the stars - guest performers Jacques Heim's Dance Diablo Dance Theatre. Heims formerly choreographed for Cirque de Soleil. That should say it all.

Yes, some of it is just deliciously cheesy - I mean, c'mon, it IS, afterall, set to Meatloaf's "I would do anything for love (but I won't do that)." But if you can get past that and really watch the gravity (and even death)-defying things these people are doing - oh my goodness.

Catch it at AOL Videos, or shoot for the higher-quality video at ABC. Select "Watch Now," find Dancing with the Stars, select the 3/25/08 episode, load it, and then go to the 29-minute mark.

YouTube favorites

Michelle just sent me a cool (albeit gross) link to a video on YouTube about the amount of sugar in soda and fruit juice. So I decided to offer links to some of my favorites, including Michelle's. If anyone's got more suggestions, feel free to share! =0)

1) Pachelbel Rant (Rob Paravonian is awesome - thanks, Scott!)

2) The Friends Theme and Sugar Ray (another Rob Paravonian classic - really, they're all funny)

3) Monty Python - Penguin Research (sums up empirical research in just 5 minutes)

4) Monty Python - Philosophers' World Cup (okay, maybe you have to be a dork for this one, but it's funny)

5) How Much Sugar is in a Can of Soda? (not funny - just gross)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Something is just backwards, here...

Ahaha -

We had a midterm in my Mus698 (Psychology of Music Teaching & Learning) class two weeks ago - right before spring break - and I really didn't know how I felt about it when all was said and done. All I remember was feeling irked that we were getting a test with definitions and matching on a graduate-level test - the essay questions I was fine with - I like those! I was a little nervous 'cause I didn't know what to expect from this professor, exactly, and I totally suck at remembering names and dates and details like that - I am a big-picture person more than I am a fine-detail person in most cases (not all the time - I'm really pretty decent with details in many cases, if I may say so, myself), and I don't mean that as an excuse, it's just a pattern I've noticed and I have experienced much less anxiety since I have acknowledged that fact. Accept it and deal with it rather than fight it, and play to my strengths. Really, my learning strategies & approaches haven't changed all that much, but I feel much better about things - until someone expects me to memorize details, and then my anxiety goes up, again. But oh well.

Anyways, that isn't even the point - the point is that I was (comparitively) looking foward to the essays, but kinda' cranky about the definitions and matching. And the only points I missed on the entire test were from the matching. 100% on the definitions and the essay questions, and even some of the "very good" comments - but botched the matching. Go figure.

So what does this say about me - that I do fine with the long-answer questions but botch the "easy," straightforward ones? Much speculation has ensued, including the thought that maybe I'm just good at b.s.-ing, but I just don't feel like typing it all out right now. Suffice to say that, next time, I'll focus a little more on ... um ... the details, I guess.

Go figure.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter Sunday!

Hope everyone is enjoying their Easter Sundays!

Rather than blogging about the coming of spring, the Ressurection, or even the easter bunny, I have decided that today's blog shall be a tribute to those disgustingly sweet, squishy, and oh-so-innocent-looking PEEPS!!! I don't think people realize how absolutely amazing peeps are - they are sweet, maleable, versatile, and just plain fun! See for yourself...

First off: The Peep Timeline

Second, check this link out for the artistic Peeps - it's the Washington Post's "Peep Show":
My two favorites are Resevoir Peeps and Soylent Green is Peeps


Third, Peeps in Science...a.k.a. Peep Research:
This particular peep demonstrates the dangers of cigarettes and alcohol


Finally, no more are Peeps confined to Easter - you can enjoy them for many major holidays!


So enjoy your Easter, and enjoy hangin' with your Peeps ;)

Friday, March 21, 2008

Okay, two more...

I never cease to be amazed at how life works out - whether or not you personally believe that everything happens for a reason, or happens according to plan, or whatever - I mean, life goes on no matter what, so I suppose you can't "prove" that things work out as they're "supposed" to. BUT, as I said, it amazes me how things work out. Not that this necessarily helps me a lot with the more difficult times and decisions, yet, but we'll get there. In the meantime, I love seeing how life unfolds and participating in the assembly of this crazy jigsaw puzzle. Each experience and each person in my life have helped me to become who I am, and I can honestly say that I wouldn't change anything for anything. And thank you to each of you in my life, and to those with whom I have yet to cross paths.

Oh, and one more...

Dude, and though I am still totally a fan of water (see below), I am also getting so totally SICK of water!!! Mmmm - but I do want some pasta - some angelhair with artichoke hearts, black olives, capers, tomatoes, garlic, feta & parmesan, tossed lighlty with olive oil & herbs. Maybe I'll make some tomorrow. Mmmm.

Just thought I'd share...and now I'm going to go refill my water bottle...

Friday...seriously!?

So right now is one of those times I'd be okay with alone time. I really like people - watching people and talking to people (well, I really mostly prefer watching, but often I end up talking with people - hard for me to refrain from engaging). But I also value my alone time - and at the time, I really would be okay with some. Not really fair, 'cause I feel gross, and it's Spring Break, and one is NOT supposed to feel like ass over spring break, especially when one was really looking forward to using the time to be super-productive, and, instead, one spends the majority of the time sleeping and being lazy since it's hard to concentrate. And now it's Friday, and classes start back again on Monday, and I still have tons I could do and I still feel like ass and my antibiotics are done, so you'd think I would be feeling better by now...???
Anyways, the point is that I'm already extra cranky-pants, so of course I would be okay with alone time, but one of Lonnie's friends stopped by with his now-fiance, and Juilie and the fiance are just chattin', but Lonnie and Shaun are totally blasting music 'n such. And it's not fair for me to be cranky, but I would be fine being home alone so I can sit in the shower until the water runs cold and wear my towel out to get more juice and maybe some food - though food is still iffy - I think I'd even be okay with some quiet-time (as opposed to my usually ever-present background noise).
Ah well. Lonnie works tomorrow and Juilie is riding with her mom in to town for a massage, so I can clean house and do laundry and be cranky all by my self. ;0)

Oh my word - speaking of massages, I went in to the massage therapist today, and holy hell. I am so sore - but in a good way. Nancy, the massage therapist, is so unbelievably amazing - she knows just where to target and how heavy/light to keep things and doesn't "just" massage - she does isometrics and has stretches and exercises she sends you home with everything. I just hadn't been in for ages, so I was definitely overdue. I'm gonna' go again next week 'cause she wants to do more work on my neck and lower back, but today was so amazing, and I am so much more relaxed, but, at the same time, feel like I just had one of the most intense workouts ever. Crazy.

Mmm - and I haven't yet blogged about the last two weekends, but, for now, suffice to say that both were wonderful, wonderful weekends! So I suppose I can't complain about my Spring Break ;0)

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Once again, just scary how dead on this is...

"Your indecisive nature may be plaguing you terribly, dear Aquarius. This is one of those times when you feel as if a second of hesitation will cost you dearly. Yet at the same time, you take a while to process things and internalize them before you are ready to act on them. Others may act and speak before they think. Don't get upset at yourself for handling things the way that you do. Your method is fine. More than anything, it is your lack of self-confidence that is holding you back."

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Awww...I DID make a difference!

One of my students from last semester stopped in just now (okay, actually about an hour ago - we were chatting).

Anywhose, as was very evident through my posts from last semester, I was struggling a bit with teaching - more so with one particular section than with "teaching" in general - but I still definitely struggled.

Well, this student that just stopped by is an awesome guy - struggled as a student himself in his younger years, really excited to teach, works really hard. Anywhose, he's student teaching this semester, and while we were talking about the experience he's been having, he told me that I was just so inspirational for the (simple) fact that I was always so passionate about my teaching - excited and energetic every morning. And, now that he is out there teaching and trying to "want" to be there everyday (not that he doesn't want to be there, but some days you just don't feel like you have the energy to get that across, especially when the students are kind of being apathetic), he is that much more inspired.

Awww - that makes me feel good, because, yes, it is hard sometimes - especially that class he was in, with students who didn't want to be there, didn't want to participate (or at least acted that way) - but there are still those that DO care, so it is my responsibility to continue caring, too! But I'm so glad that it continued to come across - at least in his point of view - and that my attitude is continuing to serve as inspiration for him in his teaching. I think I needed to hear that =0)

That makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Screw methods and techniques - we are talking presence and personality, baby!

Ahhh...water....

Water is great. Last night, I took to BEST showever EVER! no, silly - nothing "R" rated about it - I just was present - "in the moment," if you will - aware of every glorious drop of warm water as it hit my face and my eyelids and my body. Amazing sensation.

Today, I went swimming. I haven't swam for awhile, now, but my usual Thursday afternoon study group and research meeting were both cancelled, so I could actually take advantage of the pool's afternoon hours. It was just as great as the shower last night. Gliding through the water, submerging your head to mute out the rest of the sounds of the world.
Mmmm - and then I refilled my water bottle with nice, cold filtered water to drink.

I do still smell slightly of chlorine, but I'm okay with that.

Isn't water great?

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Okay, so maybe I needed more sleep...


So I've been sick for, like, a little over a week now. And at the beginning of it all, I was having trouble getting enough sleep, 'cause even though I felt like I was spending all day sleeping, it was really in relatively short increments (hence the posts below at 4 and 5 in the morning).

Well today, I was dead to the world for just shy of 8 hours. And that is after a full 8 hours of sleep last night! So maybe I really did need it...like everyone has been telling me...but I hate sleeping that much!

In this case, I'm kinda' okay with it, though. See, I laid down to take a couple-hour nap around 2:00. Planned on getting up at 4:00 to go running, help with chores, then shower and go out with Juilie and Michelle and a co-worker of Juilie's for dinner & a movie. Instead, I laid down for a nap around 2:00 and woke up around 9:30 p.m. So, in this case, I'm only losing out on a night out, so I think sleep was definitely okay - much more needed than going out. Especially since I need to be healthy for when my brother comes next weekend!!!

Besides, Lonnie took my place for "girls" night ;)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Lonnie voluntarily left the house - to go out with a bunch of girls, no less - which is nice for Juilie. So this worked out for everyone!

Now I just need to decide if I want to go back to sleep or work on some homework...