Amazing

Loving and being loved in return. Being told you are worthy and deserving of that love. Being held and reassured "it's okay" while you cry because no one has ever said that to you before. Loving him back with an intensity there are no words for. For who I am. For who he is. The most amazing feeling ever.

working hard part two...

PLUS, I just realized that my left elbow hurts because I formed a blister and tore it open from the way I had my arm resting on my desk while I've been typing ALL DAY.

Sad...

you know you've been working hard when...

You know you've been working long and hard (and maybe not sleeping enough) when you try to pass off "variated" instead of "varied" in the report you're typing, and in your head you pronounce "cook" with the long o's (like in "kooky").

WTF?

Why is it that my laptop has to have issues right on the brink of finals week? WHY????

I love my laptop, I do. And I am very, very appreciative to have it.
But seriously, the actual hardware and wiring have been a pain in my ass since I got it. And now, just as I lowered the screen to grab something and then opened it, again, the hinge on the left side breaks.
Fortunately, the computer still works, which is the important part. But I have to leave the screen either opened or closed, so I'm not going to be taking it anywhere anytime soon, and I REALLY need it to do some traveling this summer :(
Not to mention that I don't know if it's going to be a "laptop" so much as a "desktop" since it's rather precariously balanced on the remaining hinge - and the left side (i.e. the broken side) is the side with the cable connecting computer and screen. I'd like that to continue functioning.

Seriously, though - I know Scott and I recently talked about looking into a newer computer. Hopefully, he might be able to fix this (since my warrantly is expired), but, otherwise, I think this might be my sign.
Just when I was close to paying off my credit card, too :P

I think I'm going for a run, now.
Grrrrr.

Checking in...

I saddled Tommy with my saddle while he was tied today (i.e. he was tied to one of the hitching posts while I groomed and saddled him). I've cinched up the bareback pad and saddled him with the english saddle while tied, but today was the first time in over a year (approaching two years, in fact) that I've saddled him with my western saddle while tied. Typically, I take him to the round pen, do ground work to really get his brain checked in, and THEN saddle him (and do more ground work).

Why? Because when he realizes that back cinch is attacking him, he can really buck (which means he can jump pretty well, too, so the bucking isn't all bad!). But it's not even so much that he bucks - it's that his brain totally checks out. Gone. Way outa' left field.

However, as mentioned in previous posts, he hasn't been bucking when I saddle him lately. So I decided to up the ante. No round pen, no ground work. I took him out of pasture, tied him, groomed him, saddled him, and then I untied him and asked him to follow me to the arena. I took my time, I let him relax. I left the cinches pretty loose - snug enough to keep the saddle on, but still loose.

Previously, this would be a good set-up for another round of mindless bucking.

And he did buck...sort of. Almost.

But this time, he THOUGHT ABOUT IT. He took a few steps and humped up and hopped. I backed him up and he hopped again. Then he stopped and looked at me. Took a few hesitant steps with that, "Mom, I dunno' about this. I'm uncomfortable" look. But he came, and he made it without the full-on buck-fest. His brain stayed in tact.

There was another moment in the arena - I did some ground work and then snugged up the cinches and asked him to move out again. He made it to the canter, and decided he was being attacked. But instead of launching into a round of bucking, he again stopped and looked at me, and we worked through it.

As mentioned last time, there will undoubtedly still be some "moments," but I am really proud of him. He kept his brain and checked in. Good boy. Extra cookies and scritches.

My little boy is growing up

not that we won't still have our moments, but my "little boy" (16.2 hands and probably 1400 lbs) is growing up.

We had the most wonderful day today with the usual clan doing a group lesson. Great trailer manners, no bucking when I saddled him, no kicking when a younger colt ran into his hind-end. Again, plenty to work on, still (he's kinda' stiff after the time off), and there will always be those moments, but I feel so good. What a great day. What a great horse.

Thank you, Tommy. And thank you to Mom and Dad and Lori - and thank you Juilie and Lonnie - and thank you Neil for understanding about a girl and her pony. What did you call it? Nourishment? Indeed.

~There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~ Sir Winston Churchill

~There is no secret so close as that between a rider and his horse. ~ Robert Smith Surtees

Celebrations

Just a few little things - but life's about the little things, ain't it?

1) CONGRATULATIONS, KIKI (and significant other) on your engagement!!! (and happy belated 30th birthday!) :)

2) Congratulations to me (yeah, that sounds stuck up, but I really don't think I need to worry about becoming overly self-confident and narcissistic). I landed a summer graduate assistant award for the summer, so I can keep up with my position at the tutoring center over the summer and maybe start making some real progress as far as improving and even broadening our research, as opposed to just trying to stay on top of things as-are. The proposal was to establish baseline data and do all the prep-work (lit review, instrument development, etc) to implement a new element in the Fall measuring the impact of peer tutoring on students' academic self-efficacy. Oh, and to convert our paper questionnaires over to electronic by way of surveygizmo or surveymonkey or one of those.
My boss and I are pretty stoked!
Plus, that keeps work hours flexible, which is wonderful. I do much better when I can sort of set my own schedule, so this should compliment me working on my comps projects well. And riding.

3) One more "good work" to me. I survived the "filthy 50" workout with my trainer guy. The first time he told me about the workout was a little over a month ago, and I thought "no frickin' way." He asked again yesterday (Saturday), and I said, "let's do it."
Oh God. What an experience.
See, the "filthy 50" is 50 reps each of 10 exercises as Rx'd:
50 box jumps
50 jumping pull-ups
50 kettle ball swings
50 walking lunges
50 knees-to-elbows
50 push presses
50 back extensions
50 wall balls
50 burpees
50 double unders (jumproping where you get the rope under you twice per jump)

It took me almost twice as long as it takes some other people. And I spent a good long time on the floor after :). But by golly, I finished. And I think it helped my trainer did it with me. No way was I quittin' while he was still going! So thanks for the motivation! :)