Why is my life consumed by these thoughts about teaching??? Probably helps that we're talking about teaching in class right now (we're on break - don't worry - I'm not blogging during class). I think my brain is going to explode! Keep going back and forth with being okay with this semester and thinking "boy, wouldn't it be nice to bulldoze and start over?" and "wow, I should not be teaching this course." We have to learn somewhere and somehow, though, right???
And, naturally, because I have been aiming towards teaching ever since I gave up on veterinary medicine, these teaching fears turn into those questions and fears about what it is I am even doing with my life.
Dammit.
I am going to drive myself nuts with this.
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2 comments:
Ohhh, jeeez! I'm going through the same thing. I've decided teaching is not for me. And I'm giving up on the idea of becoming a professor just because teaching is part of the job description. You can do it, though! You've been wanting to teach again to redeem yourself. That means something! And teaching is an extremely difficult endeavor. It takes years to really get it down. I'm positive you'll be able to figure out your teaching style. And that you'll be a wonderful teacher. And I think you really fit academia; becoming a vet probably wouldn't have been intellectually stimulating enough for you. So take heart, we'll make it through the semester and next semester will be better....
Teaching is an art- not a science.
IT (the days lesson, you, me, we), like a painting, will never be done, or perfect or even good enough in the artists eyes.
We just have to prepare and then do the best we can in that place on that day in that amount of time that we have.
Think of it more as being a coach (not being an authority, but just someone with a bit more knowledge and experience who is helping others become better at whatever) or partner (like with the horses - working with them toward a common goal that feels good for both of you).
In both cases, a relationship develops and the learning becomes a two way street. The students have added to their life experience and growth as human beings and the teacher has done the same.
Then every morning, take a deep breath, smile, and expect a lot, accept a little, reward the try - from your students and yourself!!
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