I think I finally grasp the difference between self efficacy and self confidence. I mean, I was pretty sure I understood the difference before, but now I'm really starting to get OWN it.
Why?
Because of school.
The self-efficacy part is there. I've got that. I cognitively believe I can do it.
Self confidence, on the other hand...
well...
do they make drugs for that?
I've struggled with self-confidence for a VERY long time. And while "people" keep telling me it'll get better with preparation and better with practice, I think it is actually continuing to diminish.
I sometimes finding myself just wanting to quit and go hide away somewhere away from people and expectations and these damn performances.
I don't think it'd be so frustrating except that, like I said, it actually seems to be diminishing, if anything, despite some very positively reinforcing experiences. And I've tried the "fake it 'til you make it" approach, but even that has yet to yield some sincere results.
Where 'o where did it go?
Sometimes I long for the days when I was under the age of six - days when I had no problem with self-confidence, whatsoever.
I guess that's something we all struggle with to some extent, though...
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1 comment:
Oh man...grad school is designed to eliminate any fragile since of self-confidence that anyone might have held. I mean, grad students work for pittance and yet feel incredibly lucky to secure the menial jobs they do get. Then there's that constant comparison between oneself and other grad students. And being graded and evaluated constantly. Who can take that kinda pressure? I have confidence in you, Karen. :)
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