Thursday, December 10, 2009

Favorite Things

I can't help but wonder how it is that the song "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music has become a Christmas song. There's this radio station that plays only Christmas music starting the day after Thanksgiving right up through Christmas day, and "My Favorite Things" is a regular part of the Christmas line-up.

Nonetheless, hearing that song got me thinking about some of MY favorite things (well, the song along with the fact that it's finals week and I've got another UTI, so I'm all about the basic creature comforts right now). In no particular order, here are some of my favorite things this time of year:
  • Going running at night while listening to Christmas music and looking at everyone's Christmas lights. I also love the crunch of snow under your feet.
  • My horse - and going riding in the snow.
  • The smell of sugar cookies, gingerbread, and molasses-heavy-horse-treats baking in the oven.
  • Soup. I love soup. In fact, I just made an easy fresh vegetable soup with dumplings and I'm enjoying it as I type. yum!
  • I have a new favorite commercial (internet commercial - I'm sure it's on TV, too, but don't know for sure since I don't have one!) - It's a Folger's Coffee commercial, where the big brother comes home for Christmas and hands his sister a gift, and the sister takes the bow off the gift and puts it on his shoulder and says something to the effect of "you're my present this year." Reminds me of my family, so I actually like the commercial.
  • Speaking of which: FAMILY. Family is my most favorite...most of the time ;) This is the time of year I look forward to being with my family - playing games, playing with my nephews, eating together at the dinner table - whatever, I just like being with them. Just a little over a week, now!

So what are YOUR favorites???

Monday, November 23, 2009

Therapy


and yes, my horse IS sticking his tongue out :)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Did you know...


...that you can watch a feature-length film of Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker ballet at Hulu?

It's the PNWB (Pacific-Northwest Ballet) with Maurice Sendak's set design - and while there is narration added to some parts, and some "special effects," it's pretty much like going and seeing the ballet live. Well - not as cool as seeing it live (Thank you John - still the coolest ever!), but as close as I'm gonna' get right now :)

Anyway, if you've never seen the ballet, or just can't get enough of it, I'd check it out :)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Not to toot my own horn, but...

My job descriptions as Newsletter editor and Website manager or coordinator or whatever for the UNC Ed Psych Society are pretty self-explanatory. I was newsletter editor last year, so no big changes there. But website manager is new to me. Nothing had been done with the website for the last couple years, so I got to update everything to be in accordance with the universities website guidelines.

Well, suffice to say, God bless Web Support and Dreamweaver - I'm still trying to make it more user-friendly and create sublinks and all that, but it's totally remodeled! Nothing really remarkable, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little proud of myself!! :)

You should check it out (http://www.unco.edu/edpsychsociety) ... and I should get back to homework!!!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Finally!

So you're supposed to file a plan of study by the end of your second year in your respective grad program. I'm almost 1/2-way through my fourth year. But I finally did it!
Granted, it still has to be approved by the grad school, and I probably still wouldn't have done it if I didn't absolutely have to - you only get to graduate when you've checked off all the requirements listed on it (which is why I think it's silly to do by the end of your second year - if you change anything or if a course is no longer offered so you have to make a substitution or ANYTHING, you have to submit separate forms for changes), and you don't get to put together your dissertation committee or do your comps projects until it's approved. And I'm finally putting together my committee and want to get my comps done this year. SO, I did it and it's signed by my advisor and I turned it in this afternoon. Finally!

I also figured out I'll be graduating with a minimum of 111 credits - probably more like 114-117. Not too shabby, I guess ;)

Now I just need one more person for my committee...

Monday, October 19, 2009

You Might be a Graduate Student If...

bits and pieces from a couple different internet sources - just felt the need to share, because, as Neil pointed out, most of them are funny because they're true.
Hmmmm......

YOU MIGHT BE A GRADUATE STUDENT IF...
…everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
…you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
…you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
…there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider "yours."
…you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
…you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
…you look forward to summers because you can study more productively without the distraction of classes.
…you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin..
…you consider all papers to be works in progress.
…professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
…you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
…you have give up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
…you have accepted guilt as inherent feature of relaxation.
…you find yourself explaining to children that you're "in 20th grade."
…you start referring to things in Latin phrasing, as in "Snow White et al"
…you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
…you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
…you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
…you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
…your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
…you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
…you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
…you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
…you wonder whether APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as "personal communication."
...you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
...you have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have footnotes.
...you understand jokes about Foucault.
...you consider caffeine to be a major food group.
...you've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.
...Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
...the professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.
...you've ever traveled across two state lines specifically to go to a library.
...you still feel guilty about giving students low grades.
...you can read course books and cook at the same time.
...you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come.
...you hope it snows during Spring Break so you can get more studying in.
...you find taking notes in a park relaxing.
...you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
...you've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
...your glasses prescription is 3x stronger than it was a year ago and you have carple tunnel syndrome because 90% of your time is in front of the computer or reading.
...8% of your time is spent in class.
...2% of your time is divided among eating, sleeping, shopping, TV, laundry, and socializing.
...you use words that only the people in your classes can understand.
...some of those continuing education classes sound interesting.
...the last time you watched TV, Brenda was still on 90210 and McGuiver was making bombs out of duct tape.
...an exciting trip is when you run errands with your roommate.
...you utter the words, "School comes before sex."
...free time is taken up by studying.
...the last fiction book you read, outside of class/rec reading, was "Flowers In the Attic."
...studying keeps you awake.
...a complete dinner might be a bagel with cream cheese and a diet coke.
...your bill for xeroxing exceeds your phone bill.
...a full night of sleep is 4 hours and a 2 hour nap mid afternoon.
...the last time you worked out, women were wearing little rope headbands and legwarmers.
...if you actually do workout, you have mastered the art of studying while on the bike or stairmaster.
...the food groups are ramen, caffeine, Subway, bagels, and the occasional delivery.
...when you tell people your thesis topic, they blink repeatedly and purse their lips while attempting not to burst out laughing.
...you consider Spring Break a time to get some work done on that paper you want to submit.
...you have an academic/professional text that you think is cool because you got the author to sign it.
...you consider cooking and cleaning your apartment leisurely breaks from real work.
...5:00 p.m. Friday means you are now scheduled to work for the next 48 hours.
...you have every minute of the next four months planned out but have no idea what you are going to do for the rest of your life.
...your friends and family become concerned because although you can now recite, word for word, the most popular theories in your field, you have lost all semblance of common sense.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Stuff

I have too much stuff and it makes me cranky.
Very, very cranky.


I went clothes shopping earler this evening. I came home with a grand total of, oh, about 7 articles of clothing, including one pair of slacks, three blouses, a pair of running shorts, a sports bra, and a black sweater to wear over my black velvet dress for orchestra concerts (since the dress is sleeveless but long sleeves are required for concerts).


Really not too extravagant, I don't think. Especially considering I've gotten rid of at least twice that to charity and thrift stores and a friend in the past couple months. Oh, except for the running shorts. They went to the trash 'cause the butt finally ripped out.
And I try to shop smart - I saved more than I spent.


But it's still more stuff!
I just feel like I have too much.

And most of it is school stuff - books and books and books and binders and binders and notebooks and paper and highlighters and post-its and some more books. Really pretty scant on the dishes and kitchen gadgets, the canned and packaged foods, the towels and sheets and bathroom supplies. A fair amount of clothes and shoes, but not out of control - when the closet seems waaaay to full, I try to remind myself that I have no dresser, so of course the closet is full. Some extra stuffed animals and knick-knacks, but I even got rid of some of those.


But it's still too much stuff!
AAAAHHHH!


When did I become such a wanna'-be-minimalist?

More importantly, why can't I just fit in with the rest of this society?
Not only should I be happy with my stuff - I should be trying to get MORE stuff, and bigger-and-better stuff! It's the American Way!
I'm just a bad American in that respect, I guess :(


Oh well - I should get back to homework for now, I've already dedicated too much time to stuff, but I'm excited for Christmas break so I can weed out some of the stuff. Just needed to vent so I can move on... but first, a fun cartoon from the Onion:


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

:)

I am tired. I am stressed. I feel so disorganized and scattered.
But I also feel SO happy and fortunate - I have the best, most supportive friends and family and other people in my life - my boss, my advisor - it's a good life.
I also have the best, most supportive boyfriend. And today is the 1-year anniversary of our first date. So happy anniversary, honey! (and thank you, Kiki, for arranging our second date for us!!!)
(p.s. Thanks to my little bro for the pics - you rock! This is one of my favorites from this past August in WA - posing here with my nephew James - awwww)

I love you :)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

But did I mention...

did I mention that there is a Center for Animal Assisted Therapy at the University of North Texas, and they offer a course in it?

I wonder what Tommy would think about going back to TX?

All right, I know I'm waaaaay ahead of myself. One degree at a time. But I'm just sayin' ;)

hmph

I've decided that I want to get a degree in counseling, too. Unfortunately, that is another 4 years of school (minimum). Hmph.

Friday, September 11, 2009

In remembrance

Sometimes I forget - I think we all sometimes forget - to be thankful for the things we have, and to be thankful for the amazing country we live in. Sure, there are plenty of problems, but I never cease to be amazed how the majority of people can all rally together in those really crucial times.
Says something about what it means to be human.
I had forgotten about 9/11. I am at a conference in Greensboro, NC, and all I was thinking about today was which breakout sessions and research presentations to go to, and trying to prepare myself to share my own poster. That's pretty much what was occupying my mind. Until I went to write in my journal around 3:00 this afternoon or so. I (try to) always date my pages, and only then did I remember today was 9/11.
On the one hand - it happens. People forget. We get caught up in things, life continues to move on, and we forget. It happens. But, at the same time, I think it's important to remember - for lots of reasons, among which is that Santayana quote that "those who cannot learn from the past are doomed (or condemned - seen it both ways) to repeat it." Plus, while it's easy to think of history in the particulars - the names and dates and locations - really, history carries so much more - the implications and lessons are so much greater.
And so I sit here in my hotel room, an open psychology book next to me, my laptop on my lap, and the t.v. on - tuned in to MSNBC's tribute to 9/11 ("9/11 as it happened"). They are replaying the news footage from that day in 2001. And, again, I find myself in awe. Even more so than when it originally happened. Perhaps because there is less of a shock factor. Perhaps because I had forgotten, and this sort of reminder is a cold bucket of water in the face. Perhaps I'm just older and more mature ;) Whatever. The point is that it is still horrifying, still confusing - still so surreal. The mass pandemonium. The amazing strength of those who rallied together - especially those who were there. Those that went headlong into dangerous situations to help.

Humans. Something so despicable juxtaposed with something so admirable.
I feel naseous and hopefull all at the same time.

So here is my remembrance of 9/11 - the event, and the people involved. And there is a brief editorial with an audio tribute by Bruce Maiman here that I also like. Let us all remember, and let the remembrance influence our development as humans - and not in a vengeful sort of way - in a virtuous way. Let us learn and grow and rise above.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Vocabulary Lessons

So the same professor that taught my class ennui shared a new word with us before class on Tuesday... Schadenfreude.

It means taking pleasure in other peoples' misery. This song gives some really good examples to really drive it home. Our professor played the song for us and then launched in to talking about Schadenfreude (it's a hot topic in psych). I love it! Enjoy!! :)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

What better way to celebrate?

I went home last week - well, more like a week and a half ago - Neil and I drove up to WA state to spend time with my family. It was great 'cause we usually don't all get together except at Christmas, but Greg, Heidi and the boys (James & Evan) made it out from NY - yay!!!
AND, not only did we all get together, but we got to celebrate some milestones, like Scott finishing his A.A., Elizabeth (my oldest bros g/f) finishing her B.A., and Greg finishing his Ph.D. (and getting a "real" job at the university). Congratulations to all!!!

As with any family get-together, there was a ton of tasty, tasty food - including some fresh-caught salmon compliments of Greg, fresh crab, salad, veggies, etc. etc. etc.
For some of Heidi's recipes, I recommend visiting her recipe-exclusive blog.

While I have not yet started uploading my recipe collection, I promised to share at least two of them that made appearances in WA: peach-mango salsa and scones. I really suck at providing specifics, but I'll do my best. So, without further ado...


Peach-Mango Salsa
> 3-4 ripe mangos
> 4-6 ripe peaches (or one 29 oz. can of peaches in water or LIGHT syrup)
> 4-6 cloves garlic
> 1-2 jalapeno peppers
> Red onion (1 small or 1/2 large)
> Cilantro (a small bunch or a large bunch depending on how much you like it)
> Lime

Wash everything! Peel and chop the mangos, peaches, and onion in as large or small of chunks as you like & toss 'em in a bowl. Dice the garlic, cilantro, and jalapeno and add 'em to the bowl. For milder salsa, discard the seeds - for spicier, keep the seeds. Cut the lime in half and squeeze juice from one half over the salsa. Use the rest of the lime in your Coronas.
Toss to combine. Enjoy immediately and/or let sit in the fridge. Great with fish, poultry, on salad, and with chips 'n cheese.

Source: not sure???
Notes: sometimes Juilie & I added yellow and orange tomatoes and/or bell peppers (any color)


Scones
> 1 C. Sour Cream
> 1 tsp. baking soda
> 1 C. butter, slightly softened
> 1 C. white sugar
> 4 C. all-purpose flour
> 2 tsp. baking powder
> 1 tsp. salt
> 1 egg
> 1-2 tsp. vanilla
> dried fruit or fruit pie filling (optional - I usually use raspberry pie filling)

Preheat oven to 350 F. In small bowl, combine sour cream and baking soda. Let sit.
Combine sugar, flower, baking powder, and salt in large bowl. Cut in butter. Add egg, vanilla, and sour cream mixture. Mix until just moistened. Dough should be slightly sticky. If dry, add some milk or sour cream. If wet, add some flour.

And now, two ways to proceed:
1) If using dried fruit, mix in at this point. Turn dough onto floured surface. Pat or roll into 3/4" thick round. Cut into wedges. Place on ungreased cookie sheet 2-3 inches apart and bake 12-15 min.

2) If using filling, I like to work with small rounds of dough. On floured surface, roll or pat enough for a 6" diameter, 1/4"-1/2" thick round. Cut round in half. On each half, spread about 1-2 tsp. of filling. Fold each half over on itself and seal edges. Repeat with remaining dough. Place on ungreased cookie sheet 2-3 inches apart and bake 15 min.

Source: originally from allrecipes.com as "Grandma Johnson's Scones" - presented here w/ some modifications :)
Notes: Sometimes I'll add 1/2 C. cream cheese with the butter, plus another cup or so of flour.
You can also use preserves or jam for filling - either before or after baking.


Not the most specific directions, I know - but hopefully something you can make use of :)
Enjoy!

Monday, July 27, 2009

HELP

So we want to implement this study in the fall to see if our peer tutoring program actually impacts students' academic self-efficacy and locus of control when it comes to schoolwork.
I've been working on the lit. review & annotated bib. since the beginning of summer, and part of what I was looking for in doing that was a general college academic self-efficacy scale that we could use in the study (saving us the trouble of developing and validating one of our own).

Sure enough, there are several existing instruments. There's the College Self-Efficacy Inventory (CSEI, Solberg et al., 1993), the Academic Self-Confidence subscale from the larger Student Readiness Inventory (SRI, published & managed through ACT Inc.), and the Perceived Academic Self-Efficacy Scale (PASES), just to name a few.

BUT HOW IN THE HELL DO I GET MY HANDS ON ONE?

I am realizing now that never have I discussed in class or with professors how one gets ahold of these tests - especially the non-published ones. We talk about creating our own. We talk about how it's more convenient to use an existing test so you don't have to run all the reliability, validity, etc. But we haven't spent much time on finidng and getting your paws on these existing tests. So what do I do now? I mean, sure we could use the SRI, but it's $100.00 per set of 25 individual answer sheets/questionnaires - and that's just silly when we're only interested in one of the three subscales. I'd really like to use the CSEI (or some modification of it) with all the validation data on it, but I have NO idea how to get ahold of it.

Anybody have any suggestions out there?

Monday, July 20, 2009

Quality Entertainment

Okay, so just the word "Statistics" seems to send shivers down the spines of many, while making others feel naseous, anxious, or even violent.

I definitely fall in to the "anxious" category. As such, I appreciate any opportunity to make statistics more lighthearted and/or accessible.

One of my new favorite sources for that is Dr. Andy Field. His website, Statistics Hell, is just the beginning. This man has a talent for making statistics at the very least less intimidating. For example, in the book How to design and report experiments (Sage 2003, co-authored by Graham Hole), there's a chapter about population samples and the purpose of a sample mean. Rather than presenting just the equations and run-of-the-mill examples, the example these authors choose goes something like this: "Imagine we were interested in how many units of alcohol it would take a man before they would snog a Labrador called Ben. Just suppose that in reality, if we tested every man on the planet we'd find that it takes them 10 units on average (about 5 pints of lager) before they would snog dear old Ben."
the authors then proceed to give a clear, valid, detailed explanation of how to calculate the sample means of different populations and plot the respective frequency distributions to yield the sampling distribution, etc., etc., variability, etc., etc.

Later in the book, in the section to help determine which statistical test is most appropriate for your data (which includes a WONDERFUL flow chart), the authors ask, "Are people who watch 'Star Trek' more optimistic about the future of humanity than people who don't?" and use this question to construct a hypothetical study, complete with types of data collected, study design, analysis techniques, etc.

Just for further example, another of Field's popular books is titled Discovering Statistics Using SPSS (and sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll). It's a more technical, more complex read, but I am still finding it manageable (& far less frustrating) - and, again, part of this is helped by lightening up the technical jargon with some humorous examples. For example, in introducing logistic regression, the example is looking at variables predicting whether a person is male or female. The variables in question? Laziness, pig-headedness, alcohol consumption, and number of burps per day. "So, if we picked a random person and discovered they scored highly on laziness, pig-headedness, alcohol consumption and the number of burps, then the regression model might tell us that, based on this information, this person is likely to be male." There are plenty of "real" and/or "serious" research questions as well, which helps even more - introduce with the lighter, relatable stuff, and then get down to business. And I LOVE the decision trees (also in the sex, drugs, & rock 'n' roll book) because I am constantly second-guessing which test to use.

Mmhmm.

Anyway - I'm just happy to find some resources that make statistics easier to digest so thought I'd share. Hope someone out there can enjoy!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Emerging from the haze

I am finally done muddling - over one issue, at least.
As a rule, I have trouble deciding which path to take, and the decision process always stresses me out. In this case, both paths were interesting to me. But one path offered more security, more (immediately obvious) applicability (which often means greater chance of getting a job), more guidance, and it would be easier to form my committee, secure study participants, etc. But it's also been done. Not exactly what I want to do or how I want to do it, but very similar things have been done.
The other path was a little more obscure - still controversial, not much empirical research - some foundations are being laid, but not much - less guidance, potentially more challenging to form my committee and do a study - potentially more challenging to get a job afterwards. Newer & not as secure. But I'm in a great position to take that route. I have the resources, the support, and the opportunity.

I thought I had made up my mind - to take the first option. The safer one - the one that seemed more conducive to my actually getting through school successfully. I filled out paperwork for my plan of study and potential committe and sent it to my advisor.

But as a week passed, and then two and three, with no word back from my advisor, I continued to question my decision. The paperwork hadn't gone any further that my advisor's email inbox, so I could still change my mind. Still time to turn around...
I emailed my advisor for his opinion. He told me to choose what I was more passionate about - that the process is enough work and I'll hate it less if I choose what I'm passionate about.

Shortly after, I emailed him back that I was changing - taking the lesser-traveled path. There may be more roadblocks, but I'm just so curious about what I'll find.
And, like I said, I am in a unique position that allows this opportunity - so why pass that by?

I already knew I wanted to change - I had already made up my mind which path to take - when I chose to focus on caring in teaching, I still felt unsettled. As I continued to pursue caring in teaching, I continued to feel unsettled. I already knew I would change, but I just kept fighting because it seemed safer - more practical.

But now I am taking the turn and heading down the path of equine-assisted learning. And I feel settled. The fog is clearing.

The best part is that my Mom already knew I would go this path, and I'm pretty sure my advisor knew I would, also. He sent me information about an animal-assisted-therapy convention even after we talked about the caring in teaching path. I love when people know these things before me - but I also understand why they allow me to make the decision myself rather than just tetlling me what I will do.

I also don't think that teacher development and equine-assisted-learning need remain mutually exlusive. In fact, I'm still dealing with teaching and learning - just in a different context.
This should be fun!

My two remaining icecubes have melted down to look like kidneys.

I'm going out to ride.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Overload

"It is hard to take action when you don't know which direction to aim at, dear Aquarius. Do your best to muddle through the foggy haze that seems to be prevailing. Don't try to escape from your feelings, nurture them. You will find that deep down you know which way to go. All you need to do is just have faith in yourself and whatever road you decide to take."

Monday, June 1, 2009

There and back again

Neil and I just got back to Colorado last night after 24 hours (plus a little) on the road.
Last Thursday afternoon we drove up to Port Angeles, WA, and spent a wonderful week up there. I took some work and homework with me, but I made sure there was plenty of time for play, too. Running on the trails in the woods, going to the beach, going hiking to the lakes and the natural hotsprings. Neil got out in the canoe with Dad and then with Scott - he and Scott even got up close to a bald eagle - and Mom and I got in a few rides with the girls (also known as Snickerz and Hazelnut). The weather was SO nice - only rained once, so we used that opportunity to see Star Trek.

Overall, so wonderful that I really started to get the itch - the hurry-up-and-finish-with-school itch so we can go job hunting in the Northwest. I miss home.
Here are some of the highlights of the trip...

The beach out at Kalaloch en route to P.A. (that speck out there is me - it was FREEZING, but that didn't stop me - there is no ocean in Colorado, so I had to take advantage)

Tidepools at Salt Creek ... followed by swimming (well, I swam. Neil, Mom, and Scott watched)

Neil using the bridge at Lake Crescent as a balance beam. Again, it was freezing water, but there was still definitely swimming!


The still-frozen Lake Angeles. Definitely NO swimming.

The natural hotspring pool we relaxed in. Smells like rotten eggs, but feels very nice.

And, finally, the bald eagle on Lake Aldwell that Scott and Neil spotted from the canoe.

I LOVE the Northwest! :)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Amazing

Loving and being loved in return. Being told you are worthy and deserving of that love. Being held and reassured "it's okay" while you cry because no one has ever said that to you before. Loving him back with an intensity there are no words for. For who I am. For who he is. The most amazing feeling ever.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

working hard part two...

PLUS, I just realized that my left elbow hurts because I formed a blister and tore it open from the way I had my arm resting on my desk while I've been typing ALL DAY.

Sad...

Monday, May 4, 2009

you know you've been working hard when...

You know you've been working long and hard (and maybe not sleeping enough) when you try to pass off "variated" instead of "varied" in the report you're typing, and in your head you pronounce "cook" with the long o's (like in "kooky").

Sunday, May 3, 2009

WTF?

Why is it that my laptop has to have issues right on the brink of finals week? WHY????

I love my laptop, I do. And I am very, very appreciative to have it.
But seriously, the actual hardware and wiring have been a pain in my ass since I got it. And now, just as I lowered the screen to grab something and then opened it, again, the hinge on the left side breaks.
Fortunately, the computer still works, which is the important part. But I have to leave the screen either opened or closed, so I'm not going to be taking it anywhere anytime soon, and I REALLY need it to do some traveling this summer :(
Not to mention that I don't know if it's going to be a "laptop" so much as a "desktop" since it's rather precariously balanced on the remaining hinge - and the left side (i.e. the broken side) is the side with the cable connecting computer and screen. I'd like that to continue functioning.

Seriously, though - I know Scott and I recently talked about looking into a newer computer. Hopefully, he might be able to fix this (since my warrantly is expired), but, otherwise, I think this might be my sign.
Just when I was close to paying off my credit card, too :P

I think I'm going for a run, now.
Grrrrr.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Checking in...

I saddled Tommy with my saddle while he was tied today (i.e. he was tied to one of the hitching posts while I groomed and saddled him). I've cinched up the bareback pad and saddled him with the english saddle while tied, but today was the first time in over a year (approaching two years, in fact) that I've saddled him with my western saddle while tied. Typically, I take him to the round pen, do ground work to really get his brain checked in, and THEN saddle him (and do more ground work).

Why? Because when he realizes that back cinch is attacking him, he can really buck (which means he can jump pretty well, too, so the bucking isn't all bad!). But it's not even so much that he bucks - it's that his brain totally checks out. Gone. Way outa' left field.

However, as mentioned in previous posts, he hasn't been bucking when I saddle him lately. So I decided to up the ante. No round pen, no ground work. I took him out of pasture, tied him, groomed him, saddled him, and then I untied him and asked him to follow me to the arena. I took my time, I let him relax. I left the cinches pretty loose - snug enough to keep the saddle on, but still loose.
Previously, this would be a good set-up for another round of mindless bucking.
And he did buck...sort of. Almost.
But this time, he THOUGHT ABOUT IT. He took a few steps and humped up and hopped. I backed him up and he hopped again. Then he stopped and looked at me. Took a few hesitant steps with that, "Mom, I dunno' about this. I'm uncomfortable" look. But he came, and he made it without the full-on buck-fest. His brain stayed in tact.

There was another moment in the arena - I did some ground work and then snugged up the cinches and asked him to move out again. He made it to the canter, and decided he was being attacked. But instead of launching into a round of bucking, he again stopped and looked at me, and we worked through it.

As mentioned last time, there will undoubtedly still be some "moments," but I am really proud of him. He kept his brain and checked in. Good boy. Extra cookies and scritches.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

My little boy is growing up


not that we won't still have our moments, but my "little boy" (16.2 hands and probably 1400 lbs) is growing up.

We had the most wonderful day today with the usual clan doing a group lesson. Great trailer manners, no bucking when I saddled him, no kicking when a younger colt ran into his hind-end. Again, plenty to work on, still (he's kinda' stiff after the time off), and there will always be those moments, but I feel so good. What a great day. What a great horse.

Thank you, Tommy. And thank you to Mom and Dad and Lori - and thank you Juilie and Lonnie - and thank you Neil for understanding about a girl and her pony. What did you call it? Nourishment? Indeed.
~There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~ Sir Winston Churchill
~There is no secret so close as that between a rider and his horse. ~ Robert Smith Surtees

Celebrations

Just a few little things - but life's about the little things, ain't it?

1) CONGRATULATIONS, KIKI (and significant other) on your engagement!!! (and happy belated 30th birthday!) :)

2) Congratulations to me (yeah, that sounds stuck up, but I really don't think I need to worry about becoming overly self-confident and narcissistic). I landed a summer graduate assistant award for the summer, so I can keep up with my position at the tutoring center over the summer and maybe start making some real progress as far as improving and even broadening our research, as opposed to just trying to stay on top of things as-are. The proposal was to establish baseline data and do all the prep-work (lit review, instrument development, etc) to implement a new element in the Fall measuring the impact of peer tutoring on students' academic self-efficacy. Oh, and to convert our paper questionnaires over to electronic by way of surveygizmo or surveymonkey or one of those.
My boss and I are pretty stoked!
Plus, that keeps work hours flexible, which is wonderful. I do much better when I can sort of set my own schedule, so this should compliment me working on my comps projects well. And riding.

3) One more "good work" to me. I survived the "filthy 50" workout with my trainer guy. The first time he told me about the workout was a little over a month ago, and I thought "no frickin' way." He asked again yesterday (Saturday), and I said, "let's do it."
Oh God. What an experience.
See, the "filthy 50" is 50 reps each of 10 exercises as Rx'd:
50 box jumps
50 jumping pull-ups
50 kettle ball swings
50 walking lunges
50 knees-to-elbows
50 push presses
50 back extensions
50 wall balls
50 burpees
50 double unders (jumproping where you get the rope under you twice per jump)

It took me almost twice as long as it takes some other people. And I spent a good long time on the floor after :). But by golly, I finished. And I think it helped my trainer did it with me. No way was I quittin' while he was still going! So thanks for the motivation! :)

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I think I get it...

I think I finally grasp the difference between self efficacy and self confidence. I mean, I was pretty sure I understood the difference before, but now I'm really starting to get OWN it.

Why?

Because of school.

The self-efficacy part is there. I've got that. I cognitively believe I can do it.

Self confidence, on the other hand...
well...
do they make drugs for that?

I've struggled with self-confidence for a VERY long time. And while "people" keep telling me it'll get better with preparation and better with practice, I think it is actually continuing to diminish.
I sometimes finding myself just wanting to quit and go hide away somewhere away from people and expectations and these damn performances.
I don't think it'd be so frustrating except that, like I said, it actually seems to be diminishing, if anything, despite some very positively reinforcing experiences. And I've tried the "fake it 'til you make it" approach, but even that has yet to yield some sincere results.
Where 'o where did it go?
Sometimes I long for the days when I was under the age of six - days when I had no problem with self-confidence, whatsoever.

I guess that's something we all struggle with to some extent, though...

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter Sunday!

Time for the second-annual Easter post dedicated to PEEPS!
Those squashy, gender-neutral globs of sugar-coated sugar are as popular as ever and available practically year-round from our friends at JustBorn candy in toxic shades of pink, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet. Also available in white (for those of you concerned about the colored dyes), and shades of cream and brown in the case of the gourmet peep flavors like vanilla creme and chocolate mousse.

First stop, the Peep timeline:

For more Peep history, and a slideshow tour of the Peep-making process, visit the official JustBorn peep website.

Some Peep fun-facts:
  • It would take over 70 million peeps chicks, lined beak-to-tail, to reach from New York City to LA.
  • It would take over 172 million peeps bunnies ear-to-toe to circle the moon.
  • Peeps are the #1 non-chocolate easter candy. (Really? even above jelly beans?? No!!!)
  • Peeps may be pure sugar, but that also means they are fat-, gluten-, and nut-free.
  • It takes 6 minutes to create one peeps chick.
  • Originally, it took 27 hours to create one peep chick. They were squeezed out of a pastry tube and the eyes were painted on by hand.

And don't forget to check out the 3rd annual Washington Post "Peep Show"

(One of the former entries: Peep-O-Suction)





Finally, this year's featured peep research site: B.S.T. (Bunny Survival Tests), where peeps bunnies are exposed to lasers, heat (below - "hot tub" test and "slow heat" test), flame, radiation, and oxygen deprivation.













So, enjoy your Sunday, and enjoy hangin' with your peeps!!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

There are no words

Has anyone else watched TLC's show "Toddlers and Tiaras"??? (*note: they're not actually limited to "toddlers" - just a catchy title, I guess)

It's like a really, really bad accident - I feel so sick, and yet I'm having trouble looking away. (which is funny - I figured I could play it in the background while I worked on homework, but no. It is so horrific I have been watching.)

And it reminds me of a recent comment in reply to one of Heidi's posts - what was that about parenting NOT being a competitive sport?? Try telling that to some of these moms and dads!

I wonder how pageants will fare in the case of economic crisis?

I want to simultaneously steer you toward it and warn you away.
Go ahead - check it out - I dare you - and then lets talk about things like societal values.

You can also check out White Trash Mom's blogsite for more...
I just don't even have the words to respond, right now. I'm changing the website and getting back to work...

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sometimes...

Sometimes I can't help but wonder - what's the point?
There are already so many articles and so many books and so many people discussing and researching these things I am also interested in. And so what's the point?
Will I actually come up with something new - or at least a different approach to something not-so-new? And even if I do, will that be heard? Or will it become obscured - indistinct - like the articles never read or books never checked out?
And even if it is heard, will it make a difference?
It will for me, but beyond me?
And I keep going, because I have this desire to discover and learn and grow - but it is also human nature to want to contribute. So much is already out there, so where is my role? What is my role?

Sometimes I can't help but wonder - what's the point?

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

In memory of Ray Hunt

"Why does it take a lifetime to learn how to live a lifetime" ~Ray Hunt


Rest in peace Ray Hunt: August 31, 1929 - March 12, 2009.


One of the greatest horsemen in history - he was called a "Master of Communication" for a reason - passed away last week. I had the opportunity to ride Tommy in the horsemanship portion of a Ray Hunt clinic in Wyoming in 2006. I have the best parents in the world. In fact, Mom took the photograph featured above at that clinic.

He was amazing to watch - watching him watching the horses and humans.My favorite part, though, was not caught on camera. In fact, Juilie's half-brother, Clayton, remains the only eye-witness. See, everyone else took a picture with Mr. Hunt and shook hands with Mr. Hunt. But when I went to thank him and shake his hand....

he said, "Come here, Karen" and he gave me a hug.

Maybe it was my very large horse. Or my english attire with western tack. Or my purple hair.
I don't know. But I shared a hug with Mr. Ray Hunt. And when he smiled, he had the brightest twinkle in his eye. (Thank you, Mom and Dad!)

And he was wise beyond the horsemanship. Some favorites from quotes from his book, Cowboy Logic, illustrate this:
"Fix it up and let him find it"

"Adjust to fit the situation"

"Recognize the smallest change, the slightest try"

"It's the little things that make a big difference"

"Believe in your horse so your horse can believe in you"

"Make the best out of a bad situation"

"The slower you go the faster you will learn"

"The horse will teach you if you'll listen"

and, of course, "Whistle, grin and ride!" :)

While they refer to horsemanship, they apply to multiple venues of life. Like teaching. Relationships. Getting through hard times. So very wise.

Rest in peace, Mr. Ray Hunt. I know you were in it for the horse, but you helped the humans, too. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your self. And thank you to your family for sharing, too!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Holy Cow


First, if you haven't already, go rent Religulous. And after you watch the movie, watch the special features, too. It's comedy done as a documentary, with comedian Bill Maher travelling world-wide to ask people about their respective religions and try to find some answers. Very entertaining while still though-provoking, and it actually ends on a rather serious note...
Anyway, Neil and I watched it Friday night and are still talking about it (granted, talking philosophy and religion are both favorite topics, anyway, but the point is that we both thoroughly enjoyed the movie - hope you do/did, too).

Second, I didn't go to the doctor about my foot - I tried swimming, instead, and so far it seems to be working out well. I made it through the weekend wearing my ankle brace but without any serious pain, which is sweet. Still some swelling and it hurts if you push right on the tendons, but full range of motion and weight-baring action are back. Yay! Just in time for the weekend...
Third, with regards to this weekend: my personal trainer guy is the coolest ever. EVER! Between yesterday and today, every part of my body is sore...and it is GREAT!!! Just the warm-up consists of 3 sets of 5 exercises (squats, pull-ups, sit-ups, push-ups, and back extensions), 10 reps each. Then we start the workout, which is like intense circuit training based in cardio, gymnastics and weightlifting.
Holy cow.
It is awesome!
I am totally going to be spoiled by the end of this. And hopefully I'll also be in totally better shape ;)
Awesome weekend, though I suppose for now I should get back to laundry, homework, and BED.
Happy Monday, everyone!!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Giddy

Ahhh - I am in such a good mood today. Didn't start that way, but here I find myself.
SO much work to do, but there always is. And I slept through the observations I was supposed to do at a middle school this morning for our research project - which I was feeling horribly guilty about, but then I saw my counselor. It is okay for me to sleep. When I am so passed out that my alarm clock doesn't wake me and it's physically difficult to get out of bed, it usually means the sleep was needed. And I DO feel so much better now.
So I got some sleep, I saw my counselor, I met with a professor, I got ready for class, and then we had an awesome presentation (my two partners and I). Class let out at 5:00, but I'm still on a high from it. It easily could have flopped, and I still don't know that everyone got it, but I personally think it went beautifully and every major element of our topic was illustrated through our activity and commented on while our classmates reflected on the experience. Such a cool feeling - and, as always, I had some very nice additional conversations with some classmates. I love that class!! I don't think I have thanked my friend enough - a certain individual responsible for my dropping a psych class and taking this narrative analysis one. I am SO glad she did. I cannot imagine NOT participating in this amazing, dynamic learning process.
And it has so opened my eyes to what reseach has the potential to be - just as rigorous, but with very different methods, data sources, and presentation/representation. Not always readily accepted by traditionalists, but why shouldn't/couldn't it be?
And I get to have a personal trainer for the remainder of the semester through one of the SES (sport and exercise science) courses at school, SES 490: Exercise Assessment and Programming. SES majors develop, organize, and implement a training program for a "real" person, which means they need & take volunteers from around campus, and I'm one of those volunteers this year. My trainer has actually been doing it (training) for a little while and likes it so much he decided to pursue a degree in it while still working out and training others, himself. He has a very holistic approach to "fitness," loves learning - wants to come back for his masters next year - and loves sharing knowledge, which totally clicks with me! And best of all, even though their class/our sessions are only on Mondays and Wednesdays, he checked with his teacher and is going to have me come to his gym where he works a couple extra times a week, so I get to start this weekend! Yay! And while maybe I should hold off on the excitement until I find out exactly how hard he is going to work me, I can't help but really look forward to it - a (free) personal trainer who is going to work with me in a way that focuses a lot on core strength and how all my body parts work together (instead of isolating certain muscle groups) in all dimensions of fitness (i.e. cardio, speed, strength, power, diet, stress, etc.). This has the potential to really benefit both of us. Maybe I'll even get to where I can make it through an entire orchestra rehearsal without slouching... I'll definitely keep updates...
Oh, and I have the most awesome, wonderful boyfriend. He makes me feel so good just for being me. And I love him for being him. In fact, we often tell each other, "Thank you for being you."
It's an important thing to say, and an important thing to hear - so to everyone in my life and whoever might happen to read this, thank you for being you.
And now off to orchestra, and then work on editing that manuscript. Life is good :)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

My Left Foot

My Left Foot is a 1989 movie starring Daniel Day-Lewis as Christy Brown, a man born with cerebral palsey, but with control over his left foot. It's a true story and a very good movie.

But I'm just borrowing the title.

While I am appreciative for my good health and physical capabilities, MY left foot making me cranky. I was very excited to be getting back into running, with the goal of running a marathon or some organized running event this summer (see my Feb. 9th post). But running has been difficult since last Saturday. My horse and I ran some hills (I'm trying to get his butt back in shape, too. Literally - gotta' build up those butt muscles so he uses them instead of carrying all his weight on the front end). Anyway, my left achilles started to hurt a little like it does, but I must have started to compensate in some weird way, 'cause then some tendon(s) on the outside of my ankle has been hurting and warm and swollen all week. I'm sure it doesn't help that I tried to run on it a couple times, and I jogged & walked hills with my horse again today. But I really have been taking it easy (comparatively).

But now it is so swollen it looks like an egg's been shoved in there (which doesn't sound very big, but we are talking about that bony part of the outer ankle), and a bag of frozen vegetables is keeping it close company.

but seriously. What is with my left foot? It's always the left foot (except for the time it was my left knee...and left arm...and spleen, which is on the left... maybe it's just left side...). Either way, I just want it to hurry up and feel better so I can get back to running. Preferably without going to the doctor. As my parents will vouch, I start to get a little cranky when I don't get out running... ;)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Birthday Reflections

*Before I get to my regularly-scheduled blogging, I would like to say THANK YOU!!! to everyone with their birthday wishes - my brothers and Heidi and my parents and friends - and thank you, Neil, for helping me to celebrate...tame as it may have been (that's what you get for a Wednesday birthday where you get out of school late and still have research meetings and class on Thursday) :) Thank you all - I really appreciate it, and I love you all dearly. You know who you are and I'll thank you individually soon as I get a chance (I'm aiming for Spring Break in March....). But in the meantime, thanks and I love you!
Now that this is sounding like an acceptance speech, I'll get back to my regularly scheduled blog*
another year older as of yesterday - though, as Neil pointed out, it's not like I'm just 26 for a year and then *boom!* - an entire year catches up with me as soon as the clock hits 11:00 a.m. on February 11th. As I was entering my age into the treadmill at the gym on Tuesday evening, I realized I could just as easily enter "27" versus "26." Like it would make that big of a difference.

It's just weird, though. I'm 27 this year. 25 is the half-way point. 26 still seems... younger. But 27 is only 3 years away from 30. And as I consider it, it's not even that 30 really seems that "old" (yet - maybe I should wait 'til my brother's birthday in March and ask him how it actually feels - what I have to look forward to). Anyway, I actually still feel quite young, and that's what's off about it. I still feel so young - more like 17 than 27 - and what do I have to show for my life thus far? 30 is a milestone coming up fast. When will I feel like a grown-up? And what will I have to show for my years, for my time on earth?
Granted, that same old "what does it even matter?" question can easily apply in this situation, too.
But just a little observation. Everytime I say or write or enter the number "27" I just can't help but feel that I should be a little more grown-up by now - have a few more things under my belt, maybe dress and act a little more like 27. And I'm sure I'm not alone in this, and I'm not so sure it'll ever go away - not anytime soon, anyway.

What does our age really mean? What does it really define about us? Should it necessarily define anything about us?

Monday, February 9, 2009

R & R

No, not that kind - not the rest-and-relaxation. I'm talking running and research.

Two things I've been meaning to write about but haven't gotten around to it - always something to do.

Running, first. My new runnning shoes are grrrrreat! Asics, of course - the Gel-Panthera - fit like a glove, super comfy, and very supportive for my achilles tendon. I got about 17 miles in this last weekend without my orthodics. Not that I should make a habit of that if I want to keep the tendon happy, but I'm pretty happy. In fact, I'm seriously tempted to go buy another pair now to save for when these ones wear out.

Anyways, between that and Marathon Training for Dummies, I've been feeling good about getting back into a regular schedule of running/training... maybe even with thoughts of running a marathon or mini-triathalon this summer. So far, so good. Getting in long runs, speed/strength work, weight-lifting, core strengthening... I even go running with my horse so we can both get in shape :)

We'll just have to wait 'n see how long this lasts in light of school and research and work and all...

Speaking of which, let's talk some research.

Every semester I face the same problem: which research projects do I choose to go with for the semester, and which do I put on the back-burner? I know it all seems so arbitrary, but at the same time, I feel as though I'm neglecting whatever I don't choose - and almost a little afraid that they'll slip away and I'll never get them back again. I know - weird, right? But true.

SO, I'm going to write about all of them. That way they are down in words - permanent (at least for the duration of this blogger site). It's better when things are down in writing...sometimes...not all the time, I guess...but sometimes and even most of the time as far as I'm concerned. That way things won't be lost - I won't lose them or forget about them, and I can stop stressing about it.

So here are the things I really, really want to research someday, and the things I'm taking on this semester:

For this semester:
1) Srm641 (mixed methods): continue pursuing last semester's topic - Examining Conceptualizations of Caring in Teaching among First-year Preservice Teachers: Developing a Taxonomy of Caring in Teaching (it exists for nursing...how 'bout for teachers? maybe there's even predictive value...)

2) Srm670 (Evaluation methods): UNC peer tutoring program evaluation (including lit review of peer tutoring in higher education, efficacy, added benefits beyond academic gains, etc.)

3) Srm687 (Narrative inquiry): Autoethnography - on being a twenty-something white female "diagnosed" with attention issues as an adult (and all the surrounding issues and arguments)

4) Research topics (for school, outside of classes): a) Curriculum for transformative learning in 6th-grade science classrooms - effects for students & the teacher, b) Favorite teacher stories as a method for assessing preservice teachers' motivations & values of teaching/teachers & patterns in responses, c) music therapy in the middle ages (or, rather, the gap in music therapy in the middle ages), d) Peer Tutoring Program & online tutoring program.

Other things I want to make sure I return to/get to:

*Preservice teachers' motivations for entering teaching. In-service teachers' motivations for staying in/leaving teaching. Comparison of the definitions of caring in teaching across samples (preservice, beginning, & experienced teachers).

*Psychology of music: a) why do students choose to pursue/drop out of music participation in school? b) why do "amateur" musicians return to/continue performing in non-professional settings? c) What is behind those emotional responses to music?

*Anthrozoology: a) exploring peoples' relationships with their pets - perceived vs. "hard" (measurable) benefits, b) Equine-Assisted-Learning.

I'm sure there's more - but those are the major areas of interest. And now they're down in writing. So I can go to sleep (even though sometimes - like now - sleep feels like a waste of time. But it also happens to be necessary...).

So good night :)

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Who am I?

Where is my research "home?"
I feel like a little, lost orphan, wandering outside in the cold, peeking in peoples' windows and wondering if I could see myself fitting in to their world. And I realize that "not all who wander are lost," so maybe I needent feel lost. I could quite enjoy just wandering. But I do - I feel lost.
Where do I fit?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Finally!

We (Dr. Mark Smith in SES and I) finally found a home for our paper "Teachers are making a Difference: Understanding the Influence of Favorite Teachers" - based on research we're doing with preservice teachers and using "Favorite Teacher Stories" as both a research method and a teaching tool with preservice teachers. The Qualitative Report has accepted our manuscript and will be working with us to publish it!

Back to work for now, but super exciting! :D