My Left Foot

My Left Foot is a 1989 movie starring Daniel Day-Lewis as Christy Brown, a man born with cerebral palsey, but with control over his left foot. It's a true story and a very good movie.

But I'm just borrowing the title.

While I am appreciative for my good health and physical capabilities, MY left foot making me cranky. I was very excited to be getting back into running, with the goal of running a marathon or some organized running event this summer (see my Feb. 9th post). But running has been difficult since last Saturday. My horse and I ran some hills (I'm trying to get his butt back in shape, too. Literally - gotta' build up those butt muscles so he uses them instead of carrying all his weight on the front end). Anyway, my left achilles started to hurt a little like it does, but I must have started to compensate in some weird way, 'cause then some tendon(s) on the outside of my ankle has been hurting and warm and swollen all week. I'm sure it doesn't help that I tried to run on it a couple times, and I jogged & walked hills with my horse again today. But I really have been taking it easy (comparatively).

But now it is so swollen it looks like an egg's been shoved in there (which doesn't sound very big, but we are talking about that bony part of the outer ankle), and a bag of frozen vegetables is keeping it close company.

but seriously. What is with my left foot? It's always the left foot (except for the time it was my left knee...and left arm...and spleen, which is on the left... maybe it's just left side...). Either way, I just want it to hurry up and feel better so I can get back to running. Preferably without going to the doctor. As my parents will vouch, I start to get a little cranky when I don't get out running... ;)

Birthday Reflections

*Before I get to my regularly-scheduled blogging, I would like to say THANK YOU!!! to everyone with their birthday wishes - my brothers and Heidi and my parents and friends - and thank you, Neil, for helping me to celebrate...tame as it may have been (that's what you get for a Wednesday birthday where you get out of school late and still have research meetings and class on Thursday) :) Thank you all - I really appreciate it, and I love you all dearly. You know who you are and I'll thank you individually soon as I get a chance (I'm aiming for Spring Break in March....). But in the meantime, thanks and I love you!

Now that this is sounding like an acceptance speech, I'll get back to my regularly scheduled blog*

another year older as of yesterday - though, as Neil pointed out, it's not like I'm just 26 for a year and then *boom!* - an entire year catches up with me as soon as the clock hits 11:00 a.m. on February 11th. As I was entering my age into the treadmill at the gym on Tuesday evening, I realized I could just as easily enter "27" versus "26." Like it would make that big of a difference.

It's just weird, though. I'm 27 this year. 25 is the half-way point. 26 still seems... younger. But 27 is only 3 years away from 30. And as I consider it, it's not even that 30 really seems that "old" (yet - maybe I should wait 'til my brother's birthday in March and ask him how it actually feels - what I have to look forward to). Anyway, I actually still feel quite young, and that's what's off about it. I still feel so young - more like 17 than 27 - and what do I have to show for my life thus far? 30 is a milestone coming up fast. When will I feel like a grown-up? And what will I have to show for my years, for my time on earth?
Granted, that same old "what does it even matter?" question can easily apply in this situation, too.
But just a little observation. Everytime I say or write or enter the number "27" I just can't help but feel that I should be a little more grown-up by now - have a few more things under my belt, maybe dress and act a little more like 27. And I'm sure I'm not alone in this, and I'm not so sure it'll ever go away - not anytime soon, anyway.

What does our age really mean? What does it really define about us? Should it necessarily define anything about us?

R & R

No, not that kind - not the rest-and-relaxation. I'm talking running and research.

Two things I've been meaning to write about but haven't gotten around to it - always something to do.

Running, first. My new runnning shoes are grrrrreat! Asics, of course - the Gel-Panthera - fit like a glove, super comfy, and very supportive for my achilles tendon. I got about 17 miles in this last weekend without my orthodics. Not that I should make a habit of that if I want to keep the tendon happy, but I'm pretty happy. In fact, I'm seriously tempted to go buy another pair now to save for when these ones wear out.

Anyways, between that and Marathon Training for Dummies, I've been feeling good about getting back into a regular schedule of running/training... maybe even with thoughts of running a marathon or mini-triathalon this summer. So far, so good. Getting in long runs, speed/strength work, weight-lifting, core strengthening... I even go running with my horse so we can both get in shape :)

We'll just have to wait 'n see how long this lasts in light of school and research and work and all...

Speaking of which, let's talk some research.

Every semester I face the same problem: which research projects do I choose to go with for the semester, and which do I put on the back-burner? I know it all seems so arbitrary, but at the same time, I feel as though I'm neglecting whatever I don't choose - and almost a little afraid that they'll slip away and I'll never get them back again. I know - weird, right? But true.

SO, I'm going to write about all of them. That way they are down in words - permanent (at least for the duration of this blogger site). It's better when things are down in writing...sometimes...not all the time, I guess...but sometimes and even most of the time as far as I'm concerned. That way things won't be lost - I won't lose them or forget about them, and I can stop stressing about it.

So here are the things I really, really want to research someday, and the things I'm taking on this semester:

For this semester:

1) Srm641 (mixed methods): continue pursuing last semester's topic - Examining Conceptualizations of Caring in Teaching among First-year Preservice Teachers: Developing a Taxonomy of Caring in Teaching (it exists for nursing...how 'bout for teachers? maybe there's even predictive value...)

2) Srm670 (Evaluation methods): UNC peer tutoring program evaluation (including lit review of peer tutoring in higher education, efficacy, added benefits beyond academic gains, etc.)

3) Srm687 (Narrative inquiry): Autoethnography - on being a twenty-something white female "diagnosed" with attention issues as an adult (and all the surrounding issues and arguments)

4) Research topics (for school, outside of classes): a) Curriculum for transformative learning in 6th-grade science classrooms - effects for students & the teacher, b) Favorite teacher stories as a method for assessing preservice teachers' motivations & values of teaching/teachers & patterns in responses, c) music therapy in the middle ages (or, rather, the gap in music therapy in the middle ages), d) Peer Tutoring Program & online tutoring program.

Other things I want to make sure I return to/get to:

*Preservice teachers' motivations for entering teaching. In-service teachers' motivations for staying in/leaving teaching. Comparison of the definitions of caring in teaching across samples (preservice, beginning, & experienced teachers).

*Psychology of music: a) why do students choose to pursue/drop out of music participation in school? b) why do "amateur" musicians return to/continue performing in non-professional settings? c) What is behind those emotional responses to music?

*Anthrozoology: a) exploring peoples' relationships with their pets - perceived vs. "hard" (measurable) benefits, b) Equine-Assisted-Learning.

I'm sure there's more - but those are the major areas of interest. And now they're down in writing. So I can go to sleep (even though sometimes - like now - sleep feels like a waste of time. But it also happens to be necessary...).

So good night :)