There seems to be a recurring theme in my life...

Today's Aquarius Horoscope: Nov 18, 2008
If you often help people in need, dear Aquarius, or if helping people is part of your profession, this day will bring certain ideas into the light. You need to take the time on a regular basis to take care of yourself! If you don't, you won't be able to continue to help others. Think about this, and stop making excuses! Think of yourself for once!

blech

So last week I started to panic when I realized how close we are to the end of the semester, and exactly how much work I have left to do. A large majority of that work needs to be done this week, so I figured on being super productive all weekend.

Saturday was okay - I was semi-productive - definitely took care of quite a few things that needed taking care of. But didn't get a good run on any of the BIG projects. But that's okay, I figured, I still had Saturday night and all of Sunday.

But then I started to feel like I was going to die. And while I'm exaggerating somewhat, I'm really not exaggerating that much. Coughing up mucus and crap from my lungs and coughing so hard you feel like you're gonna' puke, and couldn't talk all of yesterday (haven't tried yet, today), and the pounding headache.

Needless to say, I didn't get much done aside from sleeping. The best part is that I feel like a slacker for it. Which is just silly!

It is also definitely reinforcing the thoughts I've had of moving back into town, but that's a whole additional story...

Okie dokie - out to do chores and then off to work and school. Everyone have a great day! :)

Crazy Times...

There is some crazy, crazy energy goin' on in the world - all the changes - all the possibilities. Exciting and overwhelming and all at the same time.
Crazy, crazy, crazy - and I know it's not just me (this time) ;)

Seeing Blue

First, rest in peace, Michael Crichton. He passed away today from cancer. I still remember reading Jurassic Park to Scott as a bedtime story...

Second, go Colorado!!! We did it!!! We went BLUE!!!

And not just "sort of blue" - it was a regular blue wave last night. Our senator, five of our seven state representatives (one of whom is not only democratic, but also Gay), and our nation's president. Oh, and thank you all for voting NO on 48.



And then there was President Obama's speech. And as Neil and I sat there on his futon watching and listening and reflecting on his words (and completely forgetting about dinner - oops), I almost cried. Yes, it is an historic election for so many reasons, including the election of an African American in to office. No wonder Jesse Jackson was moved to tears - having stood by Martin Luther King, Jr. and now partaking in this election - this moment in history - can you even imagine? But even beyond that, Obama's victory speech moved me. And perhaps I was just getting all caught up in the hoopla, and perhaps my blood sugar was just really low, but his words really struck a chord in me - BEFORE he got to the Yes We Can, he spoke:


"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America -- I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you -- we as a people will get there.


There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it's been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years -- block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.


What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek -- it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers -- in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people."


Ahhhh. He's right, it will be hard and takes sacrifice, and perhaps I won't agree with every decision he makes, but no one can make everyone happy 100% of the time. And when it comes down to it, there is no reason we cannot work as a unified society. Individualism is great and important, but we also have to remember we are all living this life together. We all breath the same air. We are all responsible for all. And it is that sentiment I heard echoed in Obama's words. And while it may seem rather idealistic, I'm okay with that - from dreams we can make plans, and from plans we can take action.

McCain gave a very good speech, too - I don't know how many of his supporters actually heard what he was saying, but it really was very good, and I respect him very much.


Anywhose, speaking of action, I've gotta' get back to work now. But what an awesome moment in time. And thank you for sharing it with me, Neil. How intense, and how wonderful to be able to talk and get different perspective but share the same base ideals. Amazing and wonderful. :)

Overwhelmed

And sometimes several thoughts attack me at once. I find myself at that point with my theoretical framework and beginnings of a lit review where I begin to feel overwhelmed by the questions and possibilities and holes. There are so many holes! How can I build upon a foundation that is comparable to swiss cheese? Don't get me wrong - swiss cheese is my favorite. But I get very distracted. For example, I was feeling good about my progress yesterday - felt like I had really identified my niche and was ready to get very specific with my research questions and lit review outline. The I went and read more while I worked out. Then I had some quality thinking time while I drove home. And by the time I got home, I felt lost, again. For example, one of my arguements as to why my research questions are even important is that increased understanding of how preservice teachers enter, develop through, and leave the teacher ed. program can help us to design the program curriculum, leading to better prepared and more effective teachers.
But what the hell is an "effective" teacher?!?!?
Oh, there is research. But, as with most research, there are mixed results, mixed ideas, mixed thoughts on how to apply the information...
So I feel as though I am building an argument on the unstable base of ideas.

Granted, it all starts with ideas, and I can't let it overwhelm me. Otherwise, I will never get anywhere. Another professor I am working with continues to remind me that sometimes all you can do is acknowledge the complex nature and uncertain definitions, and then assert your own stance and move on to your own questions/thoughts. There will always be question and uncertainty, and the only constant in life is change. So it is OKAY.

Whew. Maybe I'm ready to go to the library now... After I give my pony a quick hug-and-kiss...nothing like a big, deep breath of horse!