My little boy is growing up

not that we won't still have our moments, but my "little boy" (16.2 hands and probably 1400 lbs) is growing up.

We had the most wonderful day today with the usual clan doing a group lesson. Great trailer manners, no bucking when I saddled him, no kicking when a younger colt ran into his hind-end. Again, plenty to work on, still (he's kinda' stiff after the time off), and there will always be those moments, but I feel so good. What a great day. What a great horse.

Thank you, Tommy. And thank you to Mom and Dad and Lori - and thank you Juilie and Lonnie - and thank you Neil for understanding about a girl and her pony. What did you call it? Nourishment? Indeed.

~There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. ~ Sir Winston Churchill

~There is no secret so close as that between a rider and his horse. ~ Robert Smith Surtees

Celebrations

Just a few little things - but life's about the little things, ain't it?

1) CONGRATULATIONS, KIKI (and significant other) on your engagement!!! (and happy belated 30th birthday!) :)

2) Congratulations to me (yeah, that sounds stuck up, but I really don't think I need to worry about becoming overly self-confident and narcissistic). I landed a summer graduate assistant award for the summer, so I can keep up with my position at the tutoring center over the summer and maybe start making some real progress as far as improving and even broadening our research, as opposed to just trying to stay on top of things as-are. The proposal was to establish baseline data and do all the prep-work (lit review, instrument development, etc) to implement a new element in the Fall measuring the impact of peer tutoring on students' academic self-efficacy. Oh, and to convert our paper questionnaires over to electronic by way of surveygizmo or surveymonkey or one of those.
My boss and I are pretty stoked!
Plus, that keeps work hours flexible, which is wonderful. I do much better when I can sort of set my own schedule, so this should compliment me working on my comps projects well. And riding.

3) One more "good work" to me. I survived the "filthy 50" workout with my trainer guy. The first time he told me about the workout was a little over a month ago, and I thought "no frickin' way." He asked again yesterday (Saturday), and I said, "let's do it."
Oh God. What an experience.
See, the "filthy 50" is 50 reps each of 10 exercises as Rx'd:
50 box jumps
50 jumping pull-ups
50 kettle ball swings
50 walking lunges
50 knees-to-elbows
50 push presses
50 back extensions
50 wall balls
50 burpees
50 double unders (jumproping where you get the rope under you twice per jump)

It took me almost twice as long as it takes some other people. And I spent a good long time on the floor after :). But by golly, I finished. And I think it helped my trainer did it with me. No way was I quittin' while he was still going! So thanks for the motivation! :)

I think I get it...

I think I finally grasp the difference between self efficacy and self confidence. I mean, I was pretty sure I understood the difference before, but now I'm really starting to get OWN it.

Why?

Because of school.

The self-efficacy part is there. I've got that. I cognitively believe I can do it.

Self confidence, on the other hand...
well...
do they make drugs for that?

I've struggled with self-confidence for a VERY long time. And while "people" keep telling me it'll get better with preparation and better with practice, I think it is actually continuing to diminish.
I sometimes finding myself just wanting to quit and go hide away somewhere away from people and expectations and these damn performances.
I don't think it'd be so frustrating except that, like I said, it actually seems to be diminishing, if anything, despite some very positively reinforcing experiences. And I've tried the "fake it 'til you make it" approach, but even that has yet to yield some sincere results.
Where 'o where did it go?
Sometimes I long for the days when I was under the age of six - days when I had no problem with self-confidence, whatsoever.

I guess that's something we all struggle with to some extent, though...

Happy Easter Sunday!

Time for the second-annual Easter post dedicated to PEEPS!

Those squashy, gender-neutral globs of sugar-coated sugar are as popular as ever and available practically year-round from our friends at JustBorn candy in toxic shades of pink, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet. Also available in white (for those of you concerned about the colored dyes), and shades of cream and brown in the case of the gourmet peep flavors like vanilla creme and chocolate mousse.

First stop, the Peep timeline:

For more Peep history, and a slideshow tour of the Peep-making process, visit the official JustBorn peep website.

Some Peep fun-facts:

• It would take over 70 million peeps chicks, lined beak-to-tail, to reach from New York City to LA.
• It would take over 172 million peeps bunnies ear-to-toe to circle the moon.
• Peeps are the #1 non-chocolate easter candy. (Really? even above jelly beans?? No!!!)
• Peeps may be pure sugar, but that also means they are fat-, gluten-, and nut-free.
• It takes 6 minutes to create one peeps chick.
• Originally, it took 27 hours to create one peep chick. They were squeezed out of a pastry tube and the eyes were painted on by hand.

And don't forget to check out the 3rd annual Washington Post "Peep Show"

(One of the former entries: Peep-O-Suction)

Finally, this year's featured peep research site: B.S.T. (Bunny Survival Tests), where peeps bunnies are exposed to lasers, heat (below - "hot tub" test and "slow heat" test), flame, radiation, and oxygen deprivation.

So, enjoy your Sunday, and enjoy hangin' with your peeps!!

There are no words

Has anyone else watched TLC's show "Toddlers and Tiaras"??? (*note: they're not actually limited to "toddlers" - just a catchy title, I guess)

It's like a really, really bad accident - I feel so sick, and yet I'm having trouble looking away. (which is funny - I figured I could play it in the background while I worked on homework, but no. It is so horrific I have been watching.)

And it reminds me of a recent comment in reply to one of Heidi's posts - what was that about parenting NOT being a competitive sport?? Try telling that to some of these moms and dads!

I wonder how pageants will fare in the case of economic crisis?

I want to simultaneously steer you toward it and warn you away.

Go ahead - check it out - I dare you - and then lets talk about things like societal values.

You can also check out White Trash Mom's blogsite for more...

I just don't even have the words to respond, right now. I'm changing the website and getting back to work...

Sometimes...

Sometimes I can't help but wonder - what's the point?
There are already so many articles and so many books and so many people discussing and researching these things I am also interested in. And so what's the point?
Will I actually come up with something new - or at least a different approach to something not-so-new? And even if I do, will that be heard? Or will it become obscured - indistinct - like the articles never read or books never checked out?
And even if it is heard, will it make a difference?
It will for me, but beyond me?
And I keep going, because I have this desire to discover and learn and grow - but it is also human nature to want to contribute. So much is already out there, so where is my role? What is my role?

Sometimes I can't help but wonder - what's the point?

In memory of Ray Hunt

"Why does it take a lifetime to learn how to live a lifetime" ~Ray Hunt

Rest in peace Ray Hunt: August 31, 1929 - March 12, 2009.

One of the greatest horsemen in history - he was called a "Master of Communication" for a reason - passed away last week. I had the opportunity to ride Tommy in the horsemanship portion of a Ray Hunt clinic in Wyoming in 2006. I have the best parents in the world. In fact, Mom took the photograph featured above at that clinic.

He was amazing to watch - watching him watching the horses and humans.My favorite part, though, was not caught on camera. In fact, Juilie's half-brother, Clayton, remains the only eye-witness. See, everyone else took a picture with Mr. Hunt and shook hands with Mr. Hunt. But when I went to thank him and shake his hand....

he said, "Come here, Karen" and he gave me a hug.

Maybe it was my very large horse. Or my english attire with western tack. Or my purple hair.

I don't know. But I shared a hug with Mr. Ray Hunt. And when he smiled, he had the brightest twinkle in his eye. (Thank you, Mom and Dad!)

And he was wise beyond the horsemanship. Some favorites from quotes from his book, Cowboy Logic, illustrate this:

"Fix it up and let him find it"

"Adjust to fit the situation"

"Recognize the smallest change, the slightest try"

"It's the little things that make a big difference"

"Believe in your horse so your horse can believe in you"

"Make the best out of a bad situation"

"The slower you go the faster you will learn"

"The horse will teach you if you'll listen"

and, of course, "Whistle, grin and ride!" :)

While they refer to horsemanship, they apply to multiple venues of life. Like teaching. Relationships. Getting through hard times. So very wise.

Rest in peace, Mr. Ray Hunt. I know you were in it for the horse, but you helped the humans, too. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your self. And thank you to your family for sharing, too!